JUST WHAT I ALWAYS WANTED

What the hell is this? Who thinks to themselves, “you know what I want to eat? One prune. That would be SO GREAT right now.” And to further confuse matters, according to the package, one serving is four prunes. I can understand you want maximum prune freshness if you are someone who wants to eat prunes (you freak), but if you’re going to eat four, do you really need to unwrap four packages? Besides being inconvenient, that’s a lot of extra trash for your weird snack. I mean, I’m sure they get all weird and stick together like raisins do eventually because people will undoubtedly buy this tube of prunes thinking they’ll start eating healthy snacks but then they’ll eat like two of them and remember that Cheetos Puffs are awesome and these will sit in the pantry forever mocking you for your snacking habits, so I suppose keeping them separate makes some sense. I don’t know. Gross.

A victim of over-lolling

There is a serious epidemic sweeping the internetz. I love I has a bucket as much as the next guy. Probably more than the next guy. But “poperotsee?” Seriously? Clearly this should be spelled “pawperatzi.” It includes a punny reference to dog paws, is more easily deciphered, and taps into how cool it is to use the letter “z” where it doesn’t belong. Someone made this poor dog look like an idiot.

mojito

But every single time I go out, I see at least one person sitting there stupidly sipping on one of these little faux-pas. This drink is for the Summer. It is also a pain in the ass to make. Every time you order this in the winter, your bartender makes a mental note to never become friends with you and give you free drinks. This will begin to be acceptable again in May.

A poor grasp of ghost biology

So there’s this movie coming out called The Unborn in which a woman is haunted by the ghost of the twin brother she didn’t know she had because he died in the womb. In the trailer, she is followed by this little boy ghost who is like 6-8 years old. This is not how ghosts work. She should be followed around by a fetus-aged ghost. I would even accept a ghost the same age as she is because he is her twin. But it’s not like ghosts age at a slower rate than the living. He should either not age or age at the same rate as the rest of us. I call bullshit on this movie.

I do not intend to see this movie; but if you see it, and they address this issue, please let me know.